Mundo back from corporate retreat. Good weekend of team bonding, but now office won’t stop spinning. Send assistant manager out for aspirin, he bring back wrong brand. Now he must purchase right brand from twelve different places, so he never make same mistake again. MUNDO WANT RECEIPTS!!!

Ohhhh… head hurts. Mundo start new sale, get more money for aspirin. Board meetings much less painful that way. Look at new skins and champions on sale.

• Olaf make Mundo look foolish on corporate retreat: not catch Mundo during trust-building exercise. Now Mundo wreak bloody horrible revenge by selling him to public. Only 487 RP.
• Veigar sneak onto corporate retreat as cabana boy, then chase girls in bikinis around pool all weekend. Then get raise. Stupid Veigar. He on sale for only 292 RP.
• Karthus, AKA “Captain Bringdown,” not go on retreat. Stay in office, balance books. Make Mundo sad. Buy him for 487 RP.

Corporate Mundo enjoy new position. Give Mundo time to get important work done… like raising Elo. Mundo bring entire department into office for Weekend of Fun: play with Mundo for hours, push Mundo’s rating through the roof. Tell assistant manager no Nocturne! MUNDO PLAY MUNDO AS JUNGLER!!!

Mundo want stock-boosting money bags – er, loyal customers – to help too. Mundo give you big discount on skins and champions. Here, Mundo explain further.

• Sejuani employ impressive corporate raiding skills. Giant boar do wonders for bottom line. Add her to your staff for 487 RP.
• Amumu bad for company morale. Pathetic sighs make Mundo’s forehead throb. Give him new happy home far away from Mundo for 292 RP.
• Corki currently working as window washer in corporate headquarters. Gatling-gun sponges bad idea, breaking more windows than they clean. Find new job for him for 487 RP.

Not so fast, summoner! I’ve just made contact with my double agent inside the Riot Games headquarters, and I can’t afford to have an amateur blowing my cover. He’s taken some huge risks to bring us this intel, and I’ve gone to great lengths to convince him that I’m able to make it very worth his while. Oh, and if you’re caught with any of this, you don’t know me.

This envelope contains top secret information on the next set of champion and skins sales. The sale starts tomorrow, so that should give you plenty of time to requisition the necessary operational funds from your offshore accounts. Here’s the pulse:

• In the event that you need an expert on rigid air ships, Hextech Janna can be at your disposal for 487 RP.
• Our consultant down at the Naval yard assures us that his trained manatee Urfrider Corki is able to spot any floating munitions for 487 RP.
• A contact in international relations says that they can call in an assist from Blood Moon Shen for 487 RP in the event you should require ninja’s unique skillset.

Summoners!

Over the course of the next several weeks we’ll be offering a series of experimental bundles in an effort to bring you more value for your RP. These deals will be in addition to your regularly scheduled sales, and will offer deals on groups of champions and skins of different themes and sizes. We want to hear your constructive feedback on these bundles and learn how we can make them better as we go, so be sure to let us know in the comment thread how we can improve.

Some days, life puts some pretty tough choices in front of you. Take today for instance. Today, we’re offering a couple new bundles in the League of Legends Store, each featuring a pair of champions. One pair is poised to defend the defenseless, and fight for what’s right. The other is so positively dastardly that even the most twisted of evil-doers shudders to think what they might be capable of if they joined forces.

Here are the dazzlingly virtuous and deliciously wicked bundles you’ll find in the League of Legends Store this week.